At the international Women’s Show at the Rock Financial Show Place again this year, my heart was warmed and my motivation to continue my work was reinforced. If I’d  ever thought of retiring completely this weekend would have changed my mind!

We, that is my husband Don and daughter Deborah met so many people who were interesting to talk to, and were expressing interest in self-improvement.

Many people who came to our booth thought I had retiredbecause the white house on the hill on Telegraph Road is no longer there: some said they had been looking for me and were glad that I am still practicing hypnotherapy. So many came to reintroduce themselves to me as previous clients and reminded me how I had helped them, or to tell me how I had helped a relative or friend. So many people came and asked, “Do you remember me?”

One lady who lost 127 LBS more than 30 years ago and has kept it off shared how good her life has been because of my help, and another reminded me of how I had helped her make the kinds of changes that led her to meet and marry the ideal man. Many came to thank me because they are now free of depression or anxiety, insomnia, or that they are non smokers.  Many talked about the wonderful experiences they had during workshops I’ve conducted, how they have grown or been enlightened. How wonderful!

So many troubles now in the past for so many. So many happy ever afters!

Being thanked for doing a good job is one thing, and always welcome. However, knowing that your work has such a powerful positive lasting impact on people’s lives is another. I am always profoundly moved when I hear how my work has made such a wonderful difference. I cannot think of another way I could use my time, education, skills and talents that would give me such fulfillment.

I know we all invariably impact the lives of others in so  many positive ways, some obvious and others not so evident:Everyone who works in any job or does anything that others are effected by, even indirectly, ought to stop and think about the value of their efforts, and  feel blessed that they have done something worthwhile.  Even the little things we do for each other throughout our days make a difference in the quality of our lives and the lives of others. The words in the old song, “Little things mean a lot” are so true. Just a smile or a pat on the back, a bright “Good morning” to someone you pass by is a good way to spread a little sunshine.  Those are things that don’t cost us anything, are so easy to do.

However, the larger contributions we make through our work, whether paid for or not, through charity and through our relationships with others may require a great deal of energy and time; and a lot of giving of ourselves; they also often require sacrificing our own needs for the benefit of others;these  are actually gifts we give ourselves and  deserve our own appreciation for having been able to  give them.

WE are blessed in our ability to give.

When we are told to count our blessings, I think that the ones that count the most are not ones we receive however we come by them, i.e. those that come with good fortune, or from comparing our lives with the less fortunate, but how  we bless others with our kindness, our patience and our tolerance, or with our gifts.   

It is inevitable that when we give we receive.

There is truly no such thing as a totally selfless act. That is a truth some people find difficult to accept, for we are taught that it is better to give than receive, and being selfish is something to be avoided at all costs. However, it is good that we have good feelings when doing for others; those heart warming emotions are our just rewards.

Still it isn’t always easy for some people to accept a heart-felt thank you or a reward for services that are rendered.  “I’m just doing my job,” some say. “Oh it was nothing,” I have heard people say, probably not so much as an attempt to belittle the value of what they have done as to help others accept more easily.

Paradoxically, people will often feel hurt or slighted if not thanked or rewarded enough for what they do. Surely we don’t want or need to have thanks for everything we do.  On the other hand should we not express our appreciation freely, even for the expected and paid for services, especially if they are given cheerfully? And I don’t mean just being polite, which is certainly good manners and appropriate; It is the least we can do to let others know their efforts are appreciated and not taken for granted.

There are too many disgruntled employees who have a hard time smiling as they do their work or feel unmotivated because they don’t feel appreciated enough. The automatic off-handed “thanks” doesn’t come across as genuine appreciation.   Being appreciated is a natural human need, one that needs to be respected and honored. And should we notfeel lighter in our spirits when our appreciation for others is expressed sufficiently enough to register in a person’s consciousness?

I believe that recognition is one of the most basic of all human needs. It outranks many of our other survival  and psychological needs. Freud, Jung, Maslow and other psychologists have theorized about what drives human behaviors. However, scientific research has proven that a baby’s physical and mental growth is retarded unless it is touched, held and talked to. We apparently need proof that we do actually exist, and it must come from other nurturing human beings who recognize our existence, or we cannot thrive. If we don’t get that recognition early enough in our development, the need cries out to be met in inordinate amounts and often leads to  negative behaviors to get the needed attention.

I appreciate the appreciation people show me for what I do for them. I don’t need accolades though.  I cannot deny that it feels good to know I’ve made a difference. After all, that is what motivates me, and blesses me every day.

Once again  I thank  all of those who came to my booth to express their thanks, and share their stories of how their lives are better because of the work we did together. I know in the work I do I am part of a team, and I don’t need to feel powerful;  my job is to empower others. and I’ve been blessed by their reporting how they are indeed  stronger and healthier, more in control and happier.

My ego was built early in my life by my mother who nurtured me  and knew how to give me inner strength and a true sense of my worth. So it wasn’t  my ego that is getting stroked and the uplifted from the accolades I received this past weekend. It is my sense of purpose and the satisfaction that I am doing something worthwhile and that I am blessed with the ability to help people change and heal.

Sincerely, TTFN and  all the best, always, from Elaine Kissel