In the next few blogs I’m going to give you some simple yet effective survival tactics.
Two in this one. With details that will can save your life!
Some of the most common problems that bring people into hypnotherapy with me are stress tension, anxiety and depression. Depression if often a result of anxiety and anxiety is an attribute of depression.
There’s no doubt that living in a climate of so much negativity and fear results in those kinds of problems, added on to the personal issues individuals face. So when people say, “It’s a jungle out there!” they are expressing a sense of the dangers they are living with, it impacts their sense of well being; their sense of safety is conmpromised.
Most people don’t realize though that they are a more real and prevalent danger to themselves. When they say things, like “I’m my own worst enemy,” its often all too true; for even though we have evolved enough to be able to create our own security to a large extent, with homes with locks on the doors and windows to keep the predators out, people allow themselves to be assaulted constantly via TV, radio and the internet by the sights and sounds of a dangerous world. If you regularly read the newspapers and watch TV, exposing yourself to bad news and tragedies all the time, you could very easily, whether conscious of it or not, yiou may find yourself wondering, am I safe? Therefore you are subconsciously on alert all the time, operating in the instinctive mode of flight or fight without the ability to actually act on either option. You feel helpless, hopeless; symptoms of depression. That you or are not immune to the traumas and tribulations and horrors shown in vivid color in news bites from all over causes, if not conscious , subliminal anxiety. How can you feel secure in a world of grief and trauma?
Of course no one is exempt from trouble and the ups and downs of life. However, we as highly evolved humans we also create our own inner environment and have the ability to make sure it is less vulnerable to the all the dreadful possibilities.
I will agree that it is still a matter of survival of the fittest: the mentally fittest. It’s not only about being physically able to successfully fight your way through the hazards of daily life though. It’s more about the survival of the mentally fit. Having healthy coping strategies is the key to survival.
Being physically fit is an advantage; exercise and healthy eating, taking the right supplements and getting a good nights sleep every night means you are more assured that your body can withstand the daily assaults from all the external stressors; noise pollution, bad air quality, etc.
However, in order to truly survive, you need to be mentally fit, psychologically resilient and it’s more than having a positive attitude. In fact, its’ about how you process your experiences and what you allow to take up mind space and psychic energy. Your approach to life and experience can be negative or positive. And by being positive, I don’t mean to be unrealistic. We can face the facts of life and deal with them healthfully with the right attitude and postive coping strategeies..
I can’t teach you Mind Mastery in my blog, its a four week mind triaing course, but I can give you some tips on how to survive in the ever more challenging world you live in. It’s been said I do for people’s minds what the health clubs do for their bodies. So herein are some ways to get more mentally fit and will help you keep your inner world more peaceful.
One: reduce and as much as possible eliminate exposure to irrelevant negatives. Stop watching TV news, and reading the newspapers; it’s only interesting to those who prefer to know other people’s business than tend to their own. It paints a picture that your world is a dangerous and unsavory place, and that many people are violent and out of control. Of course there are terrible things that happen in the world and to people. But what can you do about that? Usually nothing at all. Avoid reading news flashes about diabolical and horrific tragedies on your email home pages: If it doesn’t directly impact you personally or your life, delete it. I can promise you that after one month of abstaining from giving all that bad news attention your anxiety and depression levels will drop and you’ll feel safer.
Studies and anecdotal reports reveal that less involvement in media reports of violence war and other world events enables people to focus on what’s good in their lives and the world. So don’t fill your mind with the bad news; and don’t let those around you try and fill you in on all the bad stuff going on out there; there are better topics of conversation. It’s not about being in denial, it’s about personal psychological survival. Being well informed may be important in some respects; however, being informed of what’s good for you is a healthier occupation.
Two: Develop patience. Practice it and you can actually get good at being patient. In a world where everything is so fast paced with instant messaging and texting, fast food, fast everything and you feel you are always in a race to get things done, or stay ahead of the game, you may be more prone to impatience. If you don’t expect to have to wait, or feel you shouldn’t have to wait, and therefore are unwilling to, coping with it seems impossible for you. If this is the case for you, you need to know that while your heart rate increases and your blood pressure rises, you are producing stress hormones that wreak havoc on your nervous and digestive system and more. Tension builds up and if you don’t know how to release it you become a victim of the many the stress related illnesses known to humans. Settle down, be realistic. Don’t tell yourself that you can’t wait or shouldn’t have to wait. Tell yourself you can indeed wait, patiently. Every thing isn”t a life and death situation.
Also, you know that dealing with impatient people adds to your stress if you let it, and oftenleads to all kinds of miscommunication, misunderstandings and often alienation. So don’t be one of them. There’s no use being impatient with impatient people! You can set the pace by being calm and pateint.
Impatience kills, sometimes quickly and some times slowly.
Drivers who speed while weaving in and out of traffic, honk their horns at other motorists and don’t wait for the lights to turn green, and in other ways stress everyone in their path cause accidents. Don’t get caught up in their speed demon mentality. Keep your distance and your calm; focus on being in control for yourself and your vehicle and be responsible for your own actions. Being impatient and speeding won’t get you there faster, least of all safely. Time it, you’ll realize when you are finaly forced to slow down or stop that you would just as well been patient. In slow moving or in a traffic jam, what’s the use of getting up tight? Sit back, relax, be patient. Things won’t get better out there if you are all wired up inside about it, and you will only be the worse for wear being inpatient. Figure it this way, you are in an air-conditioned private space with arm chair like seats and there’s nothing else you can do, is there? Listen to music think about all the good things in your life. Time will seem to pass more quickly that way.
I’ve often said when working with my clients that the first lesson I should teach is patience. People come into Whole Mind Hypnotherapy with me with serious concerns and complex issues and expect to have instantaneous or at least rapid results, even though during the evaluation I explain how the process works and what it will take to achieve their goals.
I understand we all want relief from our problems ASAP. However, hypnotherapy like any therapy is a process. When employed effectively it does produce faster and better results than traditional forms, but it isn’t a quick fix. There is no straight line to any goal. Expectations of the quick fix are partly because hypnosis has been advertised to be a magic bullet; one session in a group or in a private office is touted to be a cure all. As ridiculous as this is, many people believe that because someone they know made a positive change that way that everyone can and will. It’s what I’ve called a shot gun approach. Statistically those offerings have a very poor success rate; they rely on the laws of large numbers and are catered to those seeking results without having to participate in the process of getting them. If it were true that one session or even five would produce permanent desired outcomes there would be no one left on the planet with any problem or behavioral challenges: I wish it were true.
Learn to wait patiently. Make time your friend not your enemy. Patience is a survival tactic you can develop. Being agitated and irritable because things are not going as quickly as you would like isn’t going to speed up the process. In fact is slows it down.
Patience is not so much a virtue as a necessary trait that can reduce your stress and enable you to cope with the inevitable delays and stalls on the path towards your goals. Some things do take time; keep that in mind, always.
“How?” You ask.
Don’t overload your schedule or overbook yourself to the point you are inevitably pushing against time. Plan more carefully.
AND before embarking on anything, whatever it is, decide that if it takes a while, you can handle it. You can tolerate waiting for results and outcomes. Always allow enough time to accomplish goals and tasks. Factor in that things may not go smoothly or quickly. If time is of the essence, stop and think how you personally can expedite the results you want. If you have no control of that, sit still, be realistic. Simple as it seems, this is an attitudinal shift you can consciously make.
If your attitude is that you cannot afford or will not tolerate waiting, you are setting yourself up for stress tension and anxiety. Be realistic in your expectations for yourself and others. The world does not revolve solely around you and your needs and wishes. You are not the only one in line for a service or anything for that matter. Even with technology promising speedy connections and outcomes, technology isn’t perfect either; the glitches and inadequacies of the products and systems are often a result of the rush to get things to market before proven effective and faultless. If you get inpatient and frustrated when dealing with them, you need to take a few deep breaths and decide to take easy, it’s just the way it is: Accept it as a fact of modern day life.
When people say things like “I can’t wait for…” they are giving themselves a negative suggestion; and often and forgetting the fact that there are some things worth waiting for and the anticipation is part of the enjoyment. Something good or nice to look forward to is a blessing.
Be tolerant of the realities of life; don’t let your self get caught up in the rush and hurry mode. Rushing and trying to speed up progress often results in the opposite: Mistakes are made, errors occur and the end result is more frustration. Time is usually on your side, even if you haven’t yet realized that. And seriously, how often is it truly urgent? How often is immediate necessary? Wants and needs are not the same. You want it right now, but do you really need it right now? You wnat what what you need but don’t need always need what you want.
Slow down, you can wait; you may have to, what else can you do? You might as well be patient.
TTFN all the best, from Elaine Kissel
Next blog, some more survival tactics.